Saturday, January 30th, 2021
I asked you to be my valentine! I was super nervous about it, so instead of outright saying it, I spent way too much time making a video like a faux dating sim to ask you. I was pretty proud of it! I think it came out rather nice, but obviously that’s for you to decide.
I don’t know what we’re going to do, but as long as it’s with you, I’m down for whatever. I honestly didn’t know if you were going to say yes, I know at this point I should get my head out of my ass but, you never know. I wish i knew how you felt about me but hey, that’s a conversation for another time.
Every time I re-read an old letter i’ve written to you I always laugh. In each one I’m so confident about my feelings for you, to the point where I can write about it, yet at the same time it just seems funny. Like the second time we hung out again after reconnecting? We drank, like we did the first time and I was like in love with the memory of you. I was in love with the memory of us.
Every single time I see you or talk to you since then though, every sober, drunk or high moment with you I feel like I get to see you for the first time. It’s like, I know you, and I’m still learning about you. Getting to know you all over again, but on a sober level, has been amazing. I feel like I really get to see you for you. And because of that I find myself in love with you. Head over heels in love. I keep waiting for that honeymoon phase on the feelings to stop, but I guess they never will since we’re not even dating yet (if we ever will.)
At this point I feel like the next step with one another is opening up and talking about our issues. Or at least texting on a more regular basis, I miss having random but full length text message conversations with you. We never text that much anymore and I miss that. But I’m also clingy. Anyways!
You’re my valentine and I’m so lucky and blessed and excited. I dont care what we do I’m just so happy you’re going to be by my side for it.